


An Unbearable Choice

by babygirl127



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Secondary Mutation, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 04:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7029685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babygirl127/pseuds/babygirl127
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don is facing mutating into a monster once more and asks Raph to make an unbearable choice</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unbearable Choice

Raph’s face was a mask of pain and worry as he paced through the lair. Don was sick, laying on the cot in his lab with Leatherhead looking him over and there was nothing that the red banded turtle could do to help. He and Don had been a couple for a few years now and it was just killing Raph inside that he couldn’t protect his mate from whatever it was that was hurting him.

Originally Raph had tried to be in the lab while Leatherhead looked over his mate in order to provide as much comfort and support as he could. Eventually though LH kicked him out after his constant questions and refusal to let go of Don’s hand made it hard for LH to properly try and care for his patient.

Being kicked out of the lab was hard but Raph understood why LH had done it. That didn’t mean that he had to be happy about it. He wanted to know what was wrong with his mate so he could help make it better.

At first they all thought that Don just had a really bad cold or the flu. He had been scrounging around in the junkyard two weeks ago and got caught in a really bad rainstorm. The rain had been cold and the air in the sewer as Don tried to get home was also cold. This series of events added on top of his turtle physiology was too much for Don’s immune system.

While no one had been shocked when Don got sick after that ordeal, Raph had gone out of his way to do the best he could to take care of his sick brother. The problem was that Don didn’t seem to be getting any better. In fact as the weeks had passed Don just seemed to get worse and worse.

It eventually got to the point that Don ended up bedridden because he physically didn’t have the strength to get up and move around without becoming breathless from coughing and exhausted just from walking from one room to another.

This decline of health in Don had his family very worried. This is what had led to Leatherhead being called to take a look at their normal medic.

The click of the lab door opening had Raph’s instant attention as LH exited the room and closed the door softly behind him. He was instantly at the crocodile’s side to receive whatever news he had to give. Slowly the crocodile made his way into the living room with Raph following closely behind to where the rest of the family was waiting for an update.

At Master Splinter’s nod Leatherhead began.

“Unfortunately the news I have to share is not good. I have looked over Donatello’s vital signs and taken a blood sample to analyze. What I’ve found is not encouraging. It appears that the virus that caused Donatello’s secondary mutation during Bishop’s outbreak is still within him and is once again rearing its head.”

The room was completely silent at Leatherhead’s announcement. Everyone had been worried about Don and had made their own guesses as to what was wrong with him but none of them had suspected this. They each felt their hearts clench at the news of what was happening to Don but it was Raph that exploded.

“Then do something,” Raph burst out. “You helped cure him before so you know how to do it. Help him now. We can give him the cure again.”

“I have attempted to do this,” LH assured. “I took some of the cure during that encounter with Bishop in case another outbreak should ever occur again. Donatello’s body is not responding to the cure this time. I can find no reason for this but I will continue to monitor him and to search for a new cure.”

Despite knowing that their friend would never lie to them about something so important Raph refused to believe Leatherhead’s words until he heard it from Don himself. Leaving his family still sitting in the living room, Raph rushed into the lab where Don was laying on the sick bed.

The sight of Don laying in the bed so sick scared Raph. Quietly so he wouldn’t wake him mate, Raph made his way to Don’s side and took the genius’s hand in his own. The normal olive green complexion of Don’s skin had paled to a very sickly green color. Raph rubbed circles on the back of Don’s hand with his thumb as he thought about Don’s condition.

As much as Raph wished that what LH had said wasn’t true he could see that his friend wasn’t lying. The only time that Raph couldn’t remember his mate looking so sick was the first time he had been infected by the virus when he was stabbed in the leg trying to contain another mutant.

Those days when Don had been lost to the monster that he had been turned into were some of the worst in Raph’s life. He hadn’t been Don’s mate at that time but he had still feared for his brother’s life and worried that he would never get a chance to tell the real Don how he felt about him. Now it was happening all over again.

Raph’s attention was pulled away from his own thoughts and back towards his mate as Don’s eyes began to flutter open to figure out what it was that was tickling the back of his hand while he was trying to sleep.

“Hey Raph,” Don’s raspy voice sounded, barely loud enough to reach Raph’s ears and showing just how tired he was.

“Hey Donnie. Don’t talk if it hurts you too much. Do you want something to drink?” Raph whispered back as he soothed a hand over Don’s fevered brow.

Don merely nodded weakly and tried to sit up as Raph brought a glass of water over to him to sip through a straw. Once he had drunk enough to wet his mouth and throat, Don let the straw fall out of his mouth and laid back against the pillows that Raph propped up behind his back.

“Has LH told you what’s happening?” Don asked quietly, needing to know that Raph understood what was going on.

“Yeah, he said that the virus you got from Bishop’s outbreak is messing with you again and the cure he used before isn’t working for some reason but he’s going to keep trying,” answered Raph making sure that Don knew they weren’t giving up on him.

“It’s not going to work,” Don said bluntly. “I’ve looked at the information that LH has collected while looking me over. What LH came up with last time was a cure for the virus that Bishop created that mutated those other creatures so they won’t mutate again like I am right now. I’m different though.

“I had already mutated before the outbreak, when we were all exposed to the mutagen that changed us into what we are now. That mutation didn’t coexist well with the virus and that is why the cure isn’t lasting with me. There’s no way to stop it. I’m going to turn back into that monster no matter what we do.”

The sob that Don wasn’t able to choke back at the end of his words nearly broke Raph’s heart. Leaning in he gathered Don into his arms and just rocked his mate back and forth doing what he could to give Don some of his strength and let him know that he wasn’t alone.

“I’m here for you Donnie. No matter what. I won’t stop searching for a way to make sure that you stay the Donnie that I know and love,” Raph promised fiercely. “My Donnie-boy.”

Eventually Don’s tears slowed and he was able to pull his face out of Raph’s neck where he had leaned in to seek comfort. The look that he gave Raph wasn’t one of trust and belief however. It was filled with fear at Raph’s promise.

“You don’t understand Raph,” Don said, urgency clear in his voice. “I’m going to turn into a monster that won’t recognize my family or you and will kill you as soon as look at you and there is no way to stop it. I was a monster before and I will be again. I can’t do that again Raph. I can’t stand the thought of hurting any of you like that. I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything Don,” swore Raph. “Whatever you want you’ve got it cause there is no way that I’m letting this virus take you away from me. I can’t lose you.”

“Don’t let me change,” ordered Don as forcefully as he could manage in his weak voice. “Don’t let me become a monster again. LH can keep searching for a cure right now but if he doesn’t find one in time, don’t let me change into that creature.”

It took a moment for what Don was saying to sink in but when it did a look of horror took over his face.

“You can’t mean that Don. I could never, I can’t just…,” Raph stammered out as he stood up and paced in the room, reluctant to leave Don but at the same time wanting to get away from the horrible request that his mate had made.

Turning back to face Don, Raph’s eyes seemed to overflow with anguish. “I can’t Don,” Raph said pleading with his love to understand why he couldn’t do such a thing.

When Don closed his eyes unable to see the heartbreak that was clear on Raph’s face, Raph couldn’t take it anymore and fled from the lab. He didn’t even stop running when the rest of his family called out to him. The only thing going through Raph’s mind was the need to get away from Don’s one request. The only thing that his mate had asked for after he promised that he would do anything Don wanted.

Raph kept running even when he reached the open air of the rooftops topside and just widened his stride to clear each gap between the roofs. On and on he went until both his legs and his lungs were burning from the exertion.

Even that wasn’t enough to distract his from Don’s request repeating itself over and over again in his head so Raph turned his attention down to the streets to looks for some punks in need of a beating. He didn’t have to look far when he spotted a small group of Purple Dragons trying to break into a car.

A feral grin found a home on Raph’s face as the hurting ninja used the fire escape to make a quick descent to the ground. Stealth was not on his mind tonight and instead of making a quiet approach towards his adversaries, Raph charged at them head on.

The rage filled growl was all the warning that the Purple Dragons got before Raph was moving in between them throwing punches left and right. For the moment Raph left his sais safely tucked into his belt preferring the feel of landing hits with his bare balled up fists. The Purple Dragons had not been prepared for such an attack and as such they fell quickly beneath the fury of their turtle enemy.

Raph had just knocked out the last vandal that was still standing in front of him when he heard an ominous click sound from behind him. Knowing the sound of a gun being cocked, Raph spun around, grabbing a sai from his belt and let it fly before he even had a full view of his assailant.

Despite the quick reaction, Raph’s aim was true and the handle of his weapon slammed against the temple of the last Purple Dragon, knocking him unconscious and causing the gun to fall to the ground. Raph breathed heavily, his anger barely contained, as he stomped over to the juvenile and picked the gun up from the ground.

The sight of the weapon that had tried to take his life only made Raph’s anger blaze hotter. His grip around the metal tightened as he got ready to throw the gun against the wall as hard as he could to destroy it and keep it from hurting anyone else in the future. Just as he was about to throw the weapon Raph was distracted by the sound of his shell cell ringing out into the night.

Immediately Raph grabbed for his phone knowing that only his family had his number and he was not willing to risk missing any information about his mate.

“Hello,” Raph barked into the phone.

“Raph,” Leo’s voice sounded from the other end. “Raph you need to come home now. Don isn’t doing very good.”

It felt like a hand clenched around Raph’s heart, constricting it the moment he heard those words. Impatiently he thrust the gun into his belt so that he could dispose of it later so that no more damage could be done with it until he could make sure it was destroyed later.

Quickly scooping up his thrown sai, Raph began the long run home, hoping that he could make it back in time before it was too late. As he ran he berated himself about being so impulsive as to leave Don’s side when he was so sick. He should have just stayed in the lair and hit his punching bag to try and forget about Don’s request instead of leaving.

Forcing his legs to move as fast as they could possibly manage, Raph made it back to the lair in record time. He didn’t bother to acknowledge LH waiting in the living room and just burst into the lab where he knew his love was waiting for him.

Inside the room Master Splinter, Mikey, and Leo were all surrounding Don’s bed as the genius turtle moaned and writhed under the sheets. The once vibrant olive green tone had faded to a sickly pea soup green that only accentuated how poorly Don was doing.

“Don,” whispered Raph as though any additional sound would only serve to further hurt his already ailing mate.

“There’s nothing that LH can do right now,” Leo answered Raph’s unspoken question as his brother moved to take Don’s hands into his emerald green ones. “Don’s going to mutate again. The best we can do is hope that LH can find a cure quickly and until then keep Don in the containment unit we used before so that he can’t hurt himself.”

The fact that it would also be so that Don wouldn’t be able to hurt any of them was left unsaid.

“Come Leonardo and Michelangelo,” Master Splinter said quietly. “We shall gather the necessary supplies and give your brother some time with Donatello.”

Raph was barely aware of his family leaving and closing the door behind them as he moved to sit on the edge of Don’s bed while never losing his grip on Don’s hands. Tears fell unashamedly from his eyes as he looked down at his lover who was struggling to breathe and was in obvious pain.

“Raphie,” Don rasped as he managed to open his eyes to see his mate staring down at him. “Please Raphie. Please don’t let me become a monster again. Please.”

Raph’s breath caught in his throat as he watched his mate suffering with no end in sight. There was no way that the mutation would be painless and he knew without a doubt that Don would have a multitude of psychological scars when they were able to change him back. If they were able to change him back.

There was no doubt in Raph’s mind what Don was asking him to do but it was too hard. Raph knew that he was being selfish but he just couldn’t live without Don now that he had known such happiness with him. On the other hand he was losing Don before his very eyes right now and Raph wasn’t foolish enough to think that keeping Don locked up as a monster would be any easier than losing him permanently. Either way he ended up without his mate.

As he shifted closer to Don so that he could at least give and receive some last comfort right now, he felt a heavy pull at his belt and looked down to see the gun that he had taken from the Purple Dragon still resting there. One hand released its grip on Don so that he could pull the weapon from his belt to look at it.

The way the barrel seemed to gleam in the faint light of the room promised the answer to all of the problems that they were facing. With it Don could be assured that he wouldn’t turn into a monster and Raph wouldn’t have to live without him. Turning once more back to Don, Raph couldn’t miss the almost hopeful look in Don’s eyes and he knew that he couldn’t deny his brother and soul mate any longer.

Carefully Raph wrapped his left arm around Don’s shoulders and pulled him until he was sitting upright and leaning against his bulky frame for support.

“Don’t worry Donnie,” Raph whispered as he rested their heads side by side. “I won’t let you become a monster again and I ain’t leaving you either.”

Lining the end of the gun up with his temple, Raph pulled the trigger.

Out in the main part of the lair the rest of the family along with LH were working to get the containment unit all set up and ready for when Don mutated so he would be safe while they tried to figure out a cure. Their efforts were interrupted however when a loud bang echoed through the lair originating from the lab.

Flinging the door open the four of them rushed into the lab but halted in their tracked when they saw what awaited them. On the bed lay Raph and Don held together in an eternal embrace, blood dripping down from the gunshot wound through their heads. On the floor was the weapon that had taken the two lives.

Mikey let out a loud wail and moved to rush to his brothers’ sides when Leo grabbed at him and pulled him towards his chest, trying to shield his only remaining younger brother from the gruesome sight before them even as he felt his own heart breaking inside.

LH trembled in barely suppressed rage at not being able to find a cure for his friend so that it wouldn’t have come to this.

Master Splinter remained speechless as he stumbled over to the bed where his two middle sons rested. A shaking hand reached out but retreated before making contact with the rapidly cooling skin. He knew that eventually they would need to do something with the bodies that had once housed the spirits of his sons but in this moment it was all too much to cope with.

Dropping to his own knees, Master Splinter began to weep unashamedly. Their family had been broken beyond repair. Right now hearts were breaking in ways that could never be fully repaired and none of those remaining could even begin to imagine what life was going to be like now.


End file.
